Am I doing the right thing? Could this put me into any trouble?Will I regret my decision in future? Hope it works out best for me....
Child adoption has been a heart-touching topic since the very beginning; it is indeed a lovely thing to do which brings love and light to someone’s life and also gives a sense of fulfilment to the adoptive parents. The concept, which used to be a taboo in many countries, is now, slowly and steadily, gaining more acceptance.
However, a lot of people still have their hearts skip a beat because of the fear we have while pursuing adoption: – who are the biological parents of the child, does the child have any special needs, will I be able to accept the child as my own, will there be a strong bonding etc.
Let’s look at some of the most common “fears” of adopting parents and how best we can take care of them:
1. Will I be able to bond with the child:
Bonding is a slow and steady process; it takes time to develop, be that with a child, or with anyone else. It is a long-term course which requires you to shower abundant love and affection and convey enough security and assurance. Whether they are biological kids or adopted ones, one needs to spend quality time with them and establish a strong connect to take the relationship ahead. The biological kids may have some sort of a “head start” in terms of sharing that special bond with their parents, but the truth is that the foundation of a lifelong of emotional bonding between the child and parent is formed slowly as he / she is constantly being looked after and tended to with love and care by the parent, biological or adoptive. So, put aside any misconception and get ready to love and get loved by that special one whom you choose to have in your life.
2. Will the child accept me as a parent:
A child’s brain is ready to comprehend most of developments in life once he / she turns 6 or 7 years of age. Therefore, if you adopt a child of that age, he / she would probably understand the situation and perhaps take time to accept you and develop those special feelings required for a trusting relationship. In case you adopt an infant, the bond with child would start developing at a very early stage of his / her development. Later, when he / she learns about the relationship, it would not be much easier for him / her to accept you as a parent.
3. How will my friends and family react:
The opinion of the society has always been a big cause of concern to most of us. When it comes to child adoption, one of the biggest fear is that how will the near and dear ones and society in general react to it. Will they accept the adopted child as a part of the family? Will they treat him / her normally, similar to the other children of the family?While it is normal to have such feelings, it is worthwhile to keep in mind that you and your loved ones happiness is of paramount importance. Your “real” friends and family will always be by your side and support you when they find you happy and contended.
4. Is the child going to be healthy:
It is pretty normal to have fears related to the health of the child being adopted since you are mostly unaware of the health conditions of the biological family and of the child. Though such information in most cases is duly recorded to be shared as an important piece of information with adoptive parents, many might fear of some unknown health issues, disease or illness (which could be genetic or psychological) that may become apparent in the future. This might be stressful for the adoptive family later, who might not know what to do. Though it is important to dig out details during the process and be sure of what you are doing, there are instances which are beyond control in any human’s life. Any child, biological or adopted, when exposed to the changes in the environment, is likely to fall ill or develop some health issues at any stage of life. The same is true for adults as well. Once you have accepted the little one as a part of your family and life, you automatically ensure a right treatment and provide a better environment for his / her well-being.
5. Adoption is too cumbersome:
Adopting a child, at first, may look a bit overwhelming to a lot of parents, both in terms of time as well financial commitment. The obvious reason is because it needs an extensive framework of legal and documentation processes to be adhered to for ensuring the safety and well being of the to-be adopted child. While a particular route may cost you more, others may be relatively less expensive. There is enough assistance available in the form of grants and benefits to offset the costs and to help you financially. Adoption tax credit is of great help once the adoption is completed, as you can easily settle your loans and dues with the same. Fundraising is also an option which has been tried out by many adoptive parents. As with all good things, it requires you to be diligent and persistent to help you get through the adoption process.
The joy and delight of giving a new life to a child is unparalleled. Children are the most precious gifts sent to us from the heaven above and adoption is the best gift we can give them.